New Luggage

Overheard in a train station:

"He's got a wanker bag but I feel sorry for him."

Passport-less in Pimlico

Overheard in a bar:

Aussie Barmaid: I want to go to Paris but I haven't got a passport.
Drinker: You don't need a passport to go to Europe.

Japan flexing its military muscles

The National Interest reports that Japan's post WW2 pacifist stance is weakening and constitutional's restrictions on its military forces have been removed.

The article suggests collabration with the US on a missile defence system may be yet another source of tension with China, particularly if a successful system was exported to Taiwan.

The Kites fly in Soho

I went to see A & L's band at the Spice of Life. They rocked the punks.

Who wants to be a one-eighth millionaire?

I attended a recording of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" at Elstree Studios, home of many a great film.

L and I arrived 30 min before doors opened and joined a line of about 50 people. After waiting 15 min in the rain, we were told there might not be enough room for us. After another 1/4 hour wait, we were gratefully ushered through, much to the chagrin of the woman behind us who was not, despite claiming she had a priority ticket and had driven 200 miles.

The set was smaller than on the box with space for 150 people.

The warm-up man asked who was single and L stuck up his hand but refused to give his name. Nevertheless, the "comedian" tried to get him the phone number of a pretty production assistant in pink.

There were 3 contestants but 2 of them only won a few thousand. All of them had useless friends whom they phoned.

The winner on the night looked and sounded like Andy from Little Britain, slightly balding and plump. He struggled to get to a few thousand pounds, using up 2 lifelines in the process. When we were asked to help, only 30% of us knew that a series of magazines on the same subject was a part-work. A wrong answer had more votes. However, he overcame this misdirection and was soon answering with ease.

After walking off with his cheque, we were confronted with 10 middle-aged men trying to show off their fast figures. Most seemed pathetic and desperate figures relying on the quiz as their last resort to dig them out of the rut of their mid-life crises. The master manipulator was so shocked to be selected to sit on The Chair that he swore like a trooper much to the annoyance of the director who ordered a re-shoot.

Chris Tarrant was irreverant and sarcastic throughout the breaks in recording.

The programme will be shown on the first Saturday in June.

Dirty Tricks preview

I heard about Dirty Tricks, a "new Friday night comedy magic show for Channel 4 from the producers of Derren Brown's shows". I was offered "blood loss and exploding celebrities" and thought it was rude to refuse & I got tickets to watch the recording today.

There was a long queue outside the LWT Tower's studios on the South Bank and my guest & I feared being bumped. The line failed to move for 45 minutes - due to a technical fault. Then the front-runners were allowed in.

My heart stopped when we and the dozen people in fornt were stopped from entering. We were told that there might not be seats left for us but they were checking to see if there was still space. After a minute contemplating a wasted trip, we were ushered in.

We were shown to the middle of the Upper Circle but I blagged seats at the front.

We were warmed up by a Friday Night Project performer.

The first act had a Las Vegas couple reprising William Tell - firing crossbow bolts at apples balanced on the wife's head!! Then, they set up their piece de resistance. It comprised multiple crossbows (7) arranged so each bolt would hit a target below the next, setting off another bolt to hit a target below yet another crossbow. The end of the chain was to be bolts piercing apples on both the performers’ heads. The first take left the humans alive although the bolts weren't dead in the middle of the fruit - achieved on the second take. They finished off with a gag involving a dog that looked like a bolt had skewered it. I thought it was very impressive.

There were the classic “magic in a box” tricks where first a dog and then later on a woman appeared out of nowhere. Between the conjurations, a large (2m x4m) screen was moved to hide the props from the audience. The warm-up man said all we were missing was a gay bar.

2 magicians turned a plain piece of paper into a 50 pound note.

The celebrity was Zoe Ball and apart from pouting, her most demanding role involved counting up to 8 - the total number of lit cigarettes simultaneously swallowed by another magician. This was done in 2 takes - to allow him to wash his mouth out so the ash wouldn't appear on camera. As a bonus feature, a friendly audience member provided a commentary during the recording and at this point, he boasted his friend could do the same thing.

The live action was broken up with video clips of other tricks filmed elsewhere, including DJ Neil Fox being shackled to a bomb-proof box and then blown up.

It was a good show with both classic and new magic with funny bits as well. I look forward to see the broadcast soon

Yet more disputes between Japan & neighbours

Japan's controversial textbooks have annoyed South Korea by laying claim to their Dokdo Islands by calling them Takeshima. Japan's Shimane prefecture dubbed 22 February 2005, "Takeshima Day" and Seoul saw protests.

In The Economist's even-handed article, it reports that China's textbooks are harshly critical of Japan's 20th century conduct.

Both countries lay claim to the Senaku (J) / Diaoyu Islands (C), SW off the Japanese mainland.

However, despite educational and geographical disputes both countries are not shy of making money from the other. Indeed "last year, China overtook America to become Japan’s biggest trading partner. Japan has been China’s biggest trading partner in three of the past four years."

The Economist smugly recommends the following ingredients to defuse this stir-fry of East Asian tensions:

-Japan could withhold approval from school books that sanitise the awful truth about its wartime record
-It could offer more compensation to the victims of its past occupations
-They could engage with China & S Korea in serious negotiations about disputed waters
-The Chinese could agree to a joint textbook commission in which historians would be free to examine the two countries’ past
-They should give up anti-Japanese propaganda

Chinese Anti-Japanese protests

The BBC reports that there have been anti-Japanese protests for the last 2 day, spreading from Beijing to the southern province of Guandong. There was a 10K march in Beijing protesting about "a new Japanese history textbook playing down Japan's WW2 atrocities". Apparently a "massaacre" in Nanjing in 1937 was described by the textbook as an "incident"

Stones were also thrown at the Japanese embassy, there. The crowd called for the boycott of Japanese good and burning of flags as well as banners saying "down with Japanese militarism"

The BBC editorialises by suggesting that the sentiment has been fuelled by Japan's bid for a permanent UN Security Council seat.

It seems strange that Germany has not had protests directed at it yet both China and South Korea has asked for further apologies from Japan although perhaps the degree to which is must move is reflected in its textbooks.

Widower to wed divorcee tomorrow

Yet more wall-to-wall news coverage featuring people whom most of the public don't know,peronally, and sidelining of other news. I remember what happened when the widower lost his first wife - I was playing video games all night. When she had her funeral, I enjoyed driving down the empty autoroute to play yet more video games with a friend.

Polish man buried today

So, the funeral for a Polish man who died on Saturday was held in Rome today. There's been wall-to-wall news coverage since Saturday and other stories have been ignored. Whatever one's faith or none at all, surely other news should be covered?

Japanese invent solar-powered jacket

A jacket covered in solar cells could be used to charge a mobile phone in 20 hours reports The Times. The panels only cost GBP14 and the underwear producer Gunze will be producing solar clothes next Spring.

I wonder if they'll work indoors....

Brit lets Japanese writer, Mishima, suicide

The Sunday Times reports that a journalist,Henry Scott Stokes, who was allegedly Yukio Mishima's closest friend, knew about and did nothing when he became aware of the writer's plan to commit seppuku after he was involved in a failed coup in 1970.

Apparently, Hollywood is interested in the filming the story and Mark Devlin has written the script for 'The Mishima Incident' and "The script is also being considered by agents for Jude Law, whom Devlin sees as the ideal actor to play the lead role of an Englishman plunged into the hedonism and cruelty of Tokyo in the 1960s". Oh dear, sounds terrible with both Hollywood & Law in the mix. Although I admire JL, I don't think he would do it justice. I see Michael Caine as a better choice or a younger Edward Fox.

I saw Mishima's kabuki, Iwashiuri Koi no Hikiami (The Princess and the Sardine Seller AKA Sardine-seller Draws the Net of Love), whilst in Japan last month. I enjoyed it greatly - it had moments of rib-tickling comedy.

Frenchman likes Japan

The French President is a Japanophile reports The Sunday Times. He's in Japan over Easter and apparently "he is indulging his passion for all things Japanese with an Easter break of sumo wrestling, kabuki and sushi." So that's 3 things we have in common. He also claims “Five years without visiting Japan, that was unbearable for me.”

Comparing French & Japanese cultures: both have collective cultures yet the French celebrate the lone intellectural whereas the Japanese say "the nail that stands out gets hammered down".