Bangkok bound - planes, trains & a pony
I took the metro to Heathrow airport - or at least I tried to. Unhelpfully, London Underground decided to do engineering work on both the Piccadilly and District Lines. So a group of sherpas got off the metro and were told to take the Heathrow Express.
I thought I would have to pay 15 GBP - 7x the Tube cost more but whether it was my charm or good looks, the lady at the ticket counter said I shouldn't say I didn't have a Zone 1-6 travelcard so I didn't have to pay anymore.
I reached the airport with 1/2 hr to spare. I had got a cheap flight with Royal Jordanian Airlines and I began to learn why it was cheap. They didn't bother to have check-in staff, outsourcing it to Air Canada. I went to the first RJA counter I saw even though it was for those who turn left on boarding and didn't have a queue. Yet again, I couldn't figure out if it was my charm or good lucks but the lady checked me in after I said that I couldn't find any other RJA counters but of course I hadn't looked. After checking-in, I did look and found another RJA counter but it was unwomanned.
So, that left 2hr to kill before boarding. Why, oh, why oh why, is the check-in time 2.5 hrs before take-off. Surely it can't take that long to fling luggage into the plane. I'm convinced it's a global airport plot to make people buy through boredom.
Looking around for something to read, I noticed the Sunday Telegraph was (un)pular with fragments of its portfolio left in 5 different locations.
Next, I checked out my fellow cabin-mates for the Amman leg (yet another reason for cheapness). I noticed a Thailand regular - a white-haired bloke wearing a Thailand t-shirt featuring a technicolour elephant. I wondered if that was the only wild-life he and his mate were interested in.
Then, there was the geekess - permed hair, wearing a green jumper and a sensible grey skirt with her right tights unrolling beneath it. To match her outfit, she accessorised with a "Steal-Me" laptop bag. She was plantively telling her mum she would try to get Net access but wouldn't be able to for a few days - and the rest. I wonder what she was planning to get up to incommunicado.
Finally, there was the Jordanian showing off his largesse by feeding shrapnel into a drinks machine like a Vegas slot addict. He flung his prizes around the departure lounge like German stick grenades.
Evidence of parsimony 1 - those of us flying on to Bangkok from Amman were told to queue for our 2nd leg boarding passes but it seemed that only 1/3 of the queue received theirs. I was not one of the lucky ones.
Most of my plane-mates were not Jordanian - there were the usual students/gappers and some older middle-aged / elderly couples. They had obviously picked up the same cheap deal I had.
Evidence of parsimony 2 - the Airbus A320-400 had peeling paint on the wing. It didn't have individual seat-back screens. So, the lucky flyers in the centre section got good views of the 3 flip-down screens but those on the left or right got poor views. Not that there was anything worth watching apart from The Simpsons. The only consolation was the empty seat beside me, enabling me to stretch out.
We pushed back from the terminal 10 minutes late. We took-up off 40 minutes late, preceded by a prayer. Well, Allah featured in every sentence. It worked, we made up the time and arrived in Amman on time.
I took rode Shank's pony through the gift shop to transit. Then, I had to go through the metal detector and was told by the guard to take-off my watch. I have never been asked to do this and it (and I) never sets the detector off. Even after removing it, the detector beeped at me. I was subjected to a body search. Afterwards, I noticed that every single person who walked through the metal detector was beeped at. I'm sure it's set to do this automatically, enabling everyone to be body searched.
The 2nd leg was like deja-vu. I had the same seat and was offered the same meal at 2am Jordan time - who wants to eat at a time like that? Alas, the seat beside me was filled by a Jordanian who spent the entire flight trying to stretch out into my space.
I thought I would have to pay 15 GBP - 7x the Tube cost more but whether it was my charm or good looks, the lady at the ticket counter said I shouldn't say I didn't have a Zone 1-6 travelcard so I didn't have to pay anymore.
I reached the airport with 1/2 hr to spare. I had got a cheap flight with Royal Jordanian Airlines and I began to learn why it was cheap. They didn't bother to have check-in staff, outsourcing it to Air Canada. I went to the first RJA counter I saw even though it was for those who turn left on boarding and didn't have a queue. Yet again, I couldn't figure out if it was my charm or good lucks but the lady checked me in after I said that I couldn't find any other RJA counters but of course I hadn't looked. After checking-in, I did look and found another RJA counter but it was unwomanned.
So, that left 2hr to kill before boarding. Why, oh, why oh why, is the check-in time 2.5 hrs before take-off. Surely it can't take that long to fling luggage into the plane. I'm convinced it's a global airport plot to make people buy through boredom.
Looking around for something to read, I noticed the Sunday Telegraph was (un)pular with fragments of its portfolio left in 5 different locations.
Next, I checked out my fellow cabin-mates for the Amman leg (yet another reason for cheapness). I noticed a Thailand regular - a white-haired bloke wearing a Thailand t-shirt featuring a technicolour elephant. I wondered if that was the only wild-life he and his mate were interested in.
Then, there was the geekess - permed hair, wearing a green jumper and a sensible grey skirt with her right tights unrolling beneath it. To match her outfit, she accessorised with a "Steal-Me" laptop bag. She was plantively telling her mum she would try to get Net access but wouldn't be able to for a few days - and the rest. I wonder what she was planning to get up to incommunicado.
Finally, there was the Jordanian showing off his largesse by feeding shrapnel into a drinks machine like a Vegas slot addict. He flung his prizes around the departure lounge like German stick grenades.
Evidence of parsimony 1 - those of us flying on to Bangkok from Amman were told to queue for our 2nd leg boarding passes but it seemed that only 1/3 of the queue received theirs. I was not one of the lucky ones.
Most of my plane-mates were not Jordanian - there were the usual students/gappers and some older middle-aged / elderly couples. They had obviously picked up the same cheap deal I had.
Evidence of parsimony 2 - the Airbus A320-400 had peeling paint on the wing. It didn't have individual seat-back screens. So, the lucky flyers in the centre section got good views of the 3 flip-down screens but those on the left or right got poor views. Not that there was anything worth watching apart from The Simpsons. The only consolation was the empty seat beside me, enabling me to stretch out.
We pushed back from the terminal 10 minutes late. We took-up off 40 minutes late, preceded by a prayer. Well, Allah featured in every sentence. It worked, we made up the time and arrived in Amman on time.
I took rode Shank's pony through the gift shop to transit. Then, I had to go through the metal detector and was told by the guard to take-off my watch. I have never been asked to do this and it (and I) never sets the detector off. Even after removing it, the detector beeped at me. I was subjected to a body search. Afterwards, I noticed that every single person who walked through the metal detector was beeped at. I'm sure it's set to do this automatically, enabling everyone to be body searched.
The 2nd leg was like deja-vu. I had the same seat and was offered the same meal at 2am Jordan time - who wants to eat at a time like that? Alas, the seat beside me was filled by a Jordanian who spent the entire flight trying to stretch out into my space.
posted by Iconochasm at 5:59 pm
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