I went down to my local branch of the regal burger chain to celebrate my newly-non-hirsute self when I noticed that instead of drive-in food, walk in porn had been added to the menu.
Whilst waiting for my mixed-meat sandwich on special to be irradiated from the freezer, I clocked a sitting well-built middle-aged white guy pointing at a standing scrawny & pale 30-something oriental woman at my 6. She flashed open her jacket and whipped out a handful of DVDs. Turning on Bond mode, I attempted to view the proceedings, by turning my head slowly round, for you blog-edification. I couldn't read the titles but I don't think it mattered what they were called. Somehow, I did manage to see the scantily-clad ladies in a variety of poses on the front covers of the cases.
Someone else's multi-cow mince arrived. A woman got up from a table and asked for more ketchup. According to
Morgan Spurlock, who ate McDonalds only, for a month, to make
Super Size Me, in his book of the film, with its typically-American legal caveat as a title,
Don't Eat this Book, a single burger could contain meat from 100s of animals!! I looked away.
When I looked back, even though I couldn't hear a word, I could see the odd couple were haggling about the price. After a minute of this, the man handed over a note, folded over several times and the woman took out 4 DVDs from her sports bag and gave them to him. She zipped up her bag quickly.
As she was about to leave, she noticed the ketchup addict on her own and attempted another sale. I predicted young lone women don't buy porn over lunch - and I was right. The vendor was sent into the cold, grey & rainy street with a flea in her ear.