Christmas shopping t(r)ip

No, I'm afraid I have no idea what the perfect gift is for your parent/child/lover/sibling. Funny that. Surely if you don't care about them enough to work out what trinket being spewed out from the capitalist machine to buy, perhaps you shouldn't be giving them anything at all. Instead go and buy a camel for an African.

However, to ease the stress of shopping I'll tell you a story.

I went to the shop with the dog selling gramaphones and noticed that the tills downstairs had 20 people queuing to pay but the queue upstairs only had 6 people in it. So, if like me, you needed some Ronald-courage before hitting the shops, march up the escalator to work off a couple of calories and pile on the minutes.